Archives for posts with tag: Zach Galifianakis

On the verbal SAT of my life, plays are to movies as bell peppers are to ice cream. And I really dislike bell peppers. Me watching a movie about a play is like me having to eat bell pepper-flavored ice cream (think about that for a second). Micheal Keaton is a washed-up movie action hero trying to put on a Broadway show in “Birdman” (2014). The darkness is too dark, the acting is too acty and there is waaay too much camera time devoted to middle-aged men in tighty whiteys. Yep, them’s chunks of real bell peppers on that sundae.

Can’t anybody give a speech in a movie? Not a monologue. A speech. Room full of people, notecards, PowerPoint, whatever. Make your point and step away. No! There’s the Speech 180, where Actor stops in the middle and instead speechifies about the moral epiphany which caused them to reject whatever they were originally speechifying about. Or the Raincheck, where Actor stops, silently epiphanizes and rushes off to their sweetie. I was really liking “Up in the Air” (2009) until George Clooney pulls a Raincheck. But sweetie shoots him down! Ha! It made me start liking the movie all over again.

Take a good, long look at the big, steaming pile of movies in which a mismatched pair has to travel a long distance in pursuit of different goals, hijinks ensue, and they learn something about themselves along the way. Then take “Due Date” (2010) and toss it on that pile. Zach Galifianakis is better in smaller doses. Robert Downey Jr. can’t carry the movie by himself. It has some funny sidetrips but it hits all the cliche plotholes that make “road” movies interchangeable and unmemorable. Preposterous vehicle wrecks. Inexplicable epiphanies. Injured people who keep falling/crashing but don’t get hurt worse.