The death of boomer masculinity occurred somewhere near the 105-405 interchange. For years, Michael Bay has been a high priest of action filmdom, preaching a holy Hollywood trinity of bullets, testosterone and helicopters (lots of helicopters). Today’s action market is dominated, however, by a spandex-clad rainbow coalition playacting stories created and curated by nerds and geeks. Bay’s unsuccessful “Ambulance” (2022) brings cops, robbers and EMTs to a bank heist, then takes us on one of his patented, never-ending, catastrophic car chases. The awkward, tiresome Cain-and-Abel subplot featuring Yabya Abdul-Mateen II and Jake Gyllenhaal adds speed bumps to a chaotic movie.
Archives for posts with tag: Michael Bay
“Bad Boys II” (2003) begins with a shootout and car chase that wrecks half the vehicles in Dade County, including a boat. It ends with an invasion of Cuba led by Miami PD, the DEA and the CIA. Is it necessary to mention it’s a Michael Bay/Jerry Bruckheimer production? The two hours in between are filled with more shootouts and car chases, plus wacky banter between Will Smith and Martin Lawrence. There’s a plot that involves catching a bad guy, but it’s superfluous. A good movie for when you want to turn off your brain and watch shit blow up.
Tea Leoni, action hero. That’s my big takeaway from “Bad Boys” (1995). It’s a typical Don Simpson/Jerry Bruckheimer/Michael Bay shootemup, with explosions, helicopters and Tcheky Karyo as the cliche foreign bad guy. Oh, and there’s Will Smith and Martin Lawrence as Mutt-and-Jeff detectives with blazing guns and wacky banter. Smith is good. Lawrence, as usual, is too much of a good thing. Joe Pantoliano is in it, too, as the cliche harried captain of maverick cops who play by their own sets of rules. Speaking of Pantoliano, Leoni’s real last name is Pantaleoni, and she wears the big-boy pants here.
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