Short Cuts

It’s one of those movies with a bunch of seemingly unrelated story lines that somehow are supposed to come together. It’s one of those movies with an eclectic ensemble of veteran stars (Jack Lemmon!), up-and-comers (Julianne Moore!) and WTFs (Huey Lewis?). It’s one of those Robert Altman movies. So you know all the critics and artsy-fartsy types loved “Short Cuts” (1993). I couldn’t wait for it to be over. Twenty-two major characters, and not a one of them is likeable. They’re all somewhere on a continuum from pathetic to despicable. I get it, Robert. Life in L.A. sucks. Your point?

Bad Girls

Whores on horses. Westerns changed a lot after John Wayne died. “Bad Girls” is a 1994 revenge/caper/western with brief glimpses of Drew Barrymore’s boobies. Madeleine Stowe plays a butt-kicking madam with a dark past who shares undertones of homoerotic chemistry with Mary Stuart Masterson (Where is the Skinemax remake when you need it?). Andie MacDowell plays herself. James Russo channels Tom Sizemore playing a psychopathic bandito (which would be a great name for a rock band). Robert Loggia gets whacked (Doesn’t he always?). There are big guns (besides Barrymore). And no, Dermot Mulroney is not the dude from “Grey’s Anatomy.”

Revenge

“Revenge” is 1990’s tribute to false advertising. Allegedly based on a novella of the same name. I have never read it, but I am sure it didn’t say anything about Anthony Quinn in a Speedo. It also probably didn’t say “we need LOTS of extreme close-ups of Kevin Costner,” but when I saw he was executive producer, it wasn’t hard to figure out. Artistic license. Hard to figure out is how Madeleine Stowe got picked to play a Mexican heiress (I think there’s a union rule requiring her to be in every movie that has a naked-in-a-lake-scene). Nice ending. Not.