Is mankind worth saving? It’s one of the many profound things you’ll have time to ponder during “Voyagers” (2021), a slow-paced, space-based reenactment of “Lord of the Flies.” With their home succumbing to climate change, earthlings plan an 86-year mission to the nearest inhabitable planet. The eerily quiet spaceship is populated with test-tube babies turned twentysomethings who’ll need to produce two successive generations and won’t live to see touchdown. Colin Farrell plays their astronaut guidance counselor until the kids (finally) start getting a little fidgety and arise from their chemically assisted calm. Hormonal hijinks ensue, hitting all the predictable notes.
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A slow buildup can create suspense in scary movies. In “Children of the Corn” (1984), it creates boredom, and time to wonder how a dimwitted young doctor and his girlfriend (gorgeous Peter Horton and gorgeouser Linda Hamilton) were able to string so many bad decisions together. It’s not their fault a small town was co-opted by a possessed cornfield for a reenactment of “Lord of the Flies.” But who drives from Illinois to Seattle by way of Nebraska? Even I-29 avoids Nebraska! But like the TV commercial says, bad decisions are the soul of mediocre horror flicks, even Stephen King’s.
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