Archives for posts with tag: Kevin Costner

Disney knows what you like. You like predictable. You like pleasant. No matter what you say, you ride It’s a Small World. So Disney pulls out every cliche in the sports cinema book for “McFarland USA,” a 2015 heartstring-puller starring Kevin Costner. The sport is cross-country, but you feel like you’re watching a circa-1987 ripoff of “Hoosiers” with Mexican farmboys instead of Indiana farmboys. But hey, people like fairy tales because they know everyone lives happily ever after. And this is that, even if it’s based on a true story (with a lot of stuff left out and/or glossed over).

It was hard to review “Draft Day” (2014). I don’t even know what it was supposed to be. A two-hour infomercial for the official car, truck, pizza, cellphone and television network(s) of the NFL? An NFL propaganda piece to overdramatize the annual college player draft so that it becomes completely untethered to reality? A star vehicle to prove that Kevin Costner can still bang actresses half his age? This movie is so preposterous, so implausible, so convoluted, so overwrought, so overacted, it became slightly entertaining. Like a car wreck. But with clown cars. Full of football players. And Jennifer Garner.

“Revenge” is 1990’s tribute to false advertising. Allegedly based on a novella of the same name. I have never read it, but I am sure it didn’t say anything about Anthony Quinn in a Speedo. It also probably didn’t say “we need LOTS of extreme close-ups of Kevin Costner,” but when I saw he was executive producer, it wasn’t hard to figure out. Artistic license. Hard to figure out is how Madeleine Stowe got picked to play a Mexican heiress (I think there’s a union rule requiring her to be in every movie that has a naked-in-a-lake-scene). Nice ending. Not.