Archives for posts with tag: Keanu Reeves

We find out pretty quick that “Siberia” (2018) is not a “John Wick” knockoff when Keanu Reeves takes on two guys outside a bar – and promptly gets his ass kicked. Yes, Keanu is involved in some kind of shady international dealings. Yes, Keanu is menaced by scary mobsters and whatever the KGB is called nowadays. But this Keanu is married to Molly Ringwald (even though we never really see them together – kind of like that Pacino-De Niro thing in “Heat.”). Result: this is simply a dismal parable about what happens when a traveling businessman lets his penis do the thinking.

Look, I’m not here to try to get you to like Keanu Reeves or Renee Zellweger if you think those two possess less acting ability than Captain Kirk and a blowup doll (“Star Trek” episode 36: The Inflated Ego). I’m just saying that I took a lazy attitude toward “The Whole Truth” (2016) and thought I had the whole courtroom thriller plot twist figured out in the first 20 minutes. Then I had my ass handed to me (“Star Trek” episode 28: Transporter Trouble). Metaphorically, that is. The movie is good at what it’s trying to be, which ain’t much.

“Feeling Minnesota” (1996) is a yucky movie about yucky people doing yucky things. Keanu Reeves, whose flatliner delivery typically doesn’t bother me all that much, sounds like he has brain damage. He and Vincent D’Onofrio, who plays his brother, stagger around like they’re possessed by that alien bug that got inside D’Onofrio in “Men in Black.” Dan Aykroyd, Cameron Diaz and Delroy Lindo appropriately bumble along as equally unlikeable supporting characters. The plot is basically just everyone screwing over each other for money. By the time the climax rolls around, you’d just like to see someone do something competently. Anything.