Ever seen a movie with so many halfway decent actors and so much half-ass dialogue and continuity errors that it just leaves you paralized? That’s right, paralized. Just like the “paralized” headline I saw in the Pittsburgh newspaper during “Striking Distance” (spellcheck hates me right now). This 1993 detective flick has a lineup that runs from Bruce Willis and Sarah Jessica Parker to Andre Braugher and Timothy Busfield. But infamous writer/director Rowdy Herrington also has people with two crutches and then no crutches and then one crutch, buttoned-then-unbuttoned shirts and a hilariously preposterous car chase. Except this isn’t a comedy.
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To say “Article 99” is derivative is to say blood is red. The title evokes “Catch: 22” while the movie itself is a 1992 reboot of “M*A*S*H” at a veterans hospital. It even has Kiefer Sutherland as the new doctor, echoing his dad’s role in the 1970 film. Kiefer’s pornstache is splendid, as is Ray Liotta’s hair (Ray’s the new Hawkeye). Bureaucrats are again the enemy, co-workers again have sex, there’s laughs, there’s pathos, there’s an inspirational climax, there’s even John C. McGinley from “Scrubs” playing – surprise! – a wacky doctor. You see it all coming from a mile away. Yawn.
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