Archives for posts with tag: Jason Bateman

Can’t anybody give a speech in a movie? Not a monologue. A speech. Room full of people, notecards, PowerPoint, whatever. Make your point and step away. No! There’s the Speech 180, where Actor stops in the middle and instead speechifies about the moral epiphany which caused them to reject whatever they were originally speechifying about. Or the Raincheck, where Actor stops, silently epiphanizes and rushes off to their sweetie. I was really liking “Up in the Air” (2009) until George Clooney pulls a Raincheck. But sweetie shoots him down! Ha! It made me start liking the movie all over again.

“Identity Thief” (2013) is a “road movie.” For the umpteenth time, let me explain. Through some ridiculously implausible plot device, amismatchedpairhastotravelalongdistancetogetherandtheygetoneachothersnervesandhijinksensueandtheylearnsomethingaboutthemselvesalongtheway (it only counts as one word like this, and that’s all it deserves). A little Melissa McCarthy goes a long way. Orlando to Denver is too long. Meanwhile, Jason Bateman is trying to corner the market on uptight movie honkeys. At this point, I can’t tell whether he’s playing a new character or doing a sequel to “Horrible Bosses.” Unless you’re a big McCarthy fan (Ha! Get it?) you can pass on this one. I probably should have, too.

These dude-oriented, R-rated movies are all starting to run together. “Horrible Bosses” (2011) is funny, but it’s not even a real movie. It’s just a bunch of funny shit strung together, like a 98-minute-long sitcom. Why is Jason Sudeikis (Did I even spell that right? Do I even care?) suddenly such a ladies’ man? Wasn’t he having trouble getting laid in last week’s episode (also known as “Hall Pass”)? And why is Jason Bateman OK with killing Jennifer Aniston? Wasn’t he her best friend the other week (also known as “The Switch”)? And why isn’t Charlie Day also called Jason?