You know how first-time parents act? Like they’re the only people on earth who ever had a baby? Director George Clooney is like that with his baby, “Suburbicon” (2017). Clooney has big ideas about the great suburban migration of the 1950s (don’t tell anyone, but it involves racism), and he collaborates with the Coen brothers to create a pretentious, pseudosatirical horror story that delivers these big ideas in the most unentertaining, derivative, downright disgusting way possible. Clooney’s like absolutely nobody has told that story before. (Actually, Georgey, many people have, and mostly all of them told it better than you.)
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“Burn After Reading” (2008) is a not-very-good espionage movie with George Clooney. It’s kinda stupid, actually. But it does have a lot of people I like in it (Brad Pitt, the dude from the movie about the guy who plays the drum, Frances what’s-her-face, John Malkovich), and there are some characters that made me laugh. It wasn’t like I thought two hours of my life had been stolen. But when it was over, I was like: “What was up with that?” Then I reminded myself it was a Coen brothers movie, which means that probably nothing was up with anything.
“Michael Clayton” (2007) is another morally ambiguous George Clooney vehicle. It’s also a pretty darn good corporate espionage movie. The characters are complex and interesting. The plot has stimulating twists and turns without being indecipherable. It also uses the plot device where you see a pivotal moment in the film and then go back in time to see the various events leading up to that moment. I enjoy that every once in a while. But most importantly, Danny Noonan from “Caddyshack” plays an a-hole lawyer. Who’da thunk it? I though he disappeared after “The Slugger’s Wife.” It’s a Cinderella story.
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