Hollywood likes bundling a bunch of good-looking teenageish boys for movies about Texas football because it checks off boxes in a whole bunch of marketing demographics. The latest installment of inspiring underdog gridiron mediocrity is “12 Mighty Orphans” (2021). Based on a true story (aren’t they all?), this heartwarming tale of Dust Bowl grit, determination and long speeches by Luke Wilson introduces us to a Fort Worth children’s home that captured a Depression-era nation’s attention. The filmmakers inject it with the typical melodramatic steroids of teenage hijinks and overbaked subplots. Still, it’s worth waiting for the mini-bios during the credits.
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When I remember “Remember the Titans” (2000), I remember it as being a lot better than it actually is. I gloss over the “based on a true story” bending of actual events into outright falsehoods, the Disneyfied melodrama, the insertion of musical scenes to help the Original Motion Picture Soundtrack sell better, and the general sports movie, big-game, big-speech schmaltziness. Yet the story of a Virginia high school overcoming an integration controversy to win a state football championship with a black head coach is still interesting enough to overcome the Hollywood treatment. Plus, it’s just fun watching Denzel be Denzel.
I don’t know much about Renee Zellweger (I even had to look up how to spell her last name.). I know she’s won some awards. I’ve heard she smokes and she’s batshit crazy, but I have no first-hand evidence of either. I do know that in 1996, she made a movie with Tom Cruise. Written by Cameron Crowe. A romantic comedy for guys. Every woman’s favorite football movie. She played a certain type of character. She was at a certain point in her career. Lightning in a bottle. “Jerry Maguire.” I hope she can look back on it with satisfaction.
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