Archives for posts with tag: Emilio Estevez

I like Kevin Dillon more than Matt Dillion, and Jennifer Tilly more than Meg Tilly, and Van Johnson more than Ben Johnson, and Ramon Estevez more than Emilio Estevez. Other than that, I liked “Tex,” a 1982 movie about teen angst in Oklahoma. Too bad every teenager can’t solve their problems with a gunshot wound. I would have liked it a lot more had I watched it in 1982, when I was 16. And if I’d been a girl. And if the movie had a plot. And if Matt Dillon had worked with a dialogue coach on his Yankee accent.

You know how some things are so stupid, they’re funny? “The Jerky Boys” (1995) is almost like that. Almost. Mostly, it’s just stupid. The Jerky Boys were a 15-minutes-of-fame comedy duo whose gimmick was prank phone calls. That’s right, somebody actually tried to make a feature-length movie out of prank phone calls. Those somebodies were executive producers Tony Danza and Emilio Estevez. They made a legitimate effort, bringing in supporting actors like Alan Arkin and William Hickey. The plot involves jerky hijinks that result in a case of mob-related mistaken identity. It’s a lot funnier if you’re a 13-year-old boy.

There was a Major League Baseball strike in 1994. “Major League II” also came out that year. The movie did more damage to baseball (and society, for that matter) than the strike. Charlie Sheen’s character rips off an old sitcom cliché by becoming an a-hole once he gets famous (his brother Emilio Estevez does the exact same thing in “D2: The Mighty Ducks” that same year [but hockey already sucks, so its societal damage was limited]). It hurts to watch Dennis Haysbert and Omar Epps do the Hollywood shuffle (they are probably burning copies of this movie as we speak).