One of the themes of “Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps” (2010) is that time is more precious than money. It makes me wonder, then, why filmmaker Oliver Stone fritters away 133 minutes while creating no suspense whatsoever. Even a motorcycle race between lead characters goes nowhere. Why? Granted, this film is about the 2008 world financial meltdown, so we kinda know how the story goes. Still, Stone could have added subplots with more intensity than a boring love story and a boringer lesson in Macroeconomics 101. Instead, he’s too busy trying to humanize Gordon Gekko, an all-time great villain. Why?
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To say “Article 99” is derivative is to say blood is red. The title evokes “Catch: 22” while the movie itself is a 1992 reboot of “M*A*S*H” at a veterans hospital. It even has Kiefer Sutherland as the new doctor, echoing his dad’s role in the 1970 film. Kiefer’s pornstache is splendid, as is Ray Liotta’s hair (Ray’s the new Hawkeye). Bureaucrats are again the enemy, co-workers again have sex, there’s laughs, there’s pathos, there’s an inspirational climax, there’s even John C. McGinley from “Scrubs” playing – surprise! – a wacky doctor. You see it all coming from a mile away. Yawn.
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