To say “Article 99” is derivative is to say blood is red. The title evokes “Catch: 22” while the movie itself is a 1992 reboot of “M*A*S*H” at a veterans hospital. It even has Kiefer Sutherland as the new doctor, echoing his dad’s role in the 1970 film. Kiefer’s pornstache is splendid, as is Ray Liotta’s hair (Ray’s the new Hawkeye). Bureaucrats are again the enemy, co-workers again have sex, there’s laughs, there’s pathos, there’s an inspirational climax, there’s even John C. McGinley from “Scrubs” playing – surprise! – a wacky doctor. You see it all coming from a mile away. Yawn.
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Modern cinema suffers from a disease known as blockbusteritis. Symptoms are cookie-cutter plots in which the hero saves the world and hooks back up with ex-wife/girlfriend, in no particular order. Oh, and helicopters. Lots of helicopters. Experts are trying to track down the host virus, but it dates back at least as far as a 1995 outbreak called… well, it’s called “Outbreak.” Dustin Hoffman saves everyone from a killer disease by making impassioned speeches. Ex-wife Rene Russo might have been better off dead. In an unusual twist, neither of the two black co-stars (Morgan Freeman, Cuba Gooding Jr.), get killed.
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