Agent Game

Mediocre action flicks are like a salad bar. They all have that big bowl of iceberg (guns), but after that, it’s interchangeable fixins. In “Agent Game” (2022), the filmmakers added olives (black sites), tomatoes (expendable operators), shredded cheddar (CIA conspiracies), pickled beets (Mel Gibson) and of course, ranch dressing (double-crosses). Plot twists are croutons. Normally, it would be a semi-interesting way to waste 90 minutes when there’s nothing else on TV, or fine Saturday-nap-inducing fare. Except for the insult. (Spoiler Alert!) The film concludes like a feature-length pilot for a 1990s TV series. Seriously? I was watching a commercial? C’mon!

Sleepless

For most of “Sleepless” (2017), I was on the edge of my seat. Partially because of the tense action surrounding crooked cops and a Vegas drug deal gone bad. Mostly because I couldn’t hear the clenched-jaw mumblings of Jamie Foxx and his cast of mush-mouthed costars. It wasn’t me. I’m old, but I don’t listen to Fox News all day with the sound turned up to 11. This was the worst dialogue sound of any movie I’ve seen recently. There are also way too many plot elements straight out of “How to Write a Modern Hollywood Action Script, Vol. I.”

Bad Girls

Whores on horses. Westerns changed a lot after John Wayne died. “Bad Girls” is a 1994 revenge/caper/western with brief glimpses of Drew Barrymore’s boobies. Madeleine Stowe plays a butt-kicking madam with a dark past who shares undertones of homoerotic chemistry with Mary Stuart Masterson (Where is the Skinemax remake when you need it?). Andie MacDowell plays herself. James Russo channels Tom Sizemore playing a psychopathic bandito (which would be a great name for a rock band). Robert Loggia gets whacked (Doesn’t he always?). There are big guns (besides Barrymore). And no, Dermot Mulroney is not the dude from “Grey’s Anatomy.”