If Sandra Bullock weren’t so darn adorable, “Two if by Sea” (1996) would have been a total suckfest. This romantic/caper/comedy/somethingorother follows a template: Underprivileged Girl With Big Dreams is somehow romantically entangled with Loser Smalltime Crook. They spend half the movie bickering and she becomes attracted to Man Who is Fool’s Gold. Smalltime Crook does something noble, Fool’s Gold turns out to be a d-bag, you see every turn of the plot coming from a mile away, The End. There’s no Happily Ever After because you know Smalltime will do something stupid again five minutes after the movie is over.
Archives for posts with tag: Denis Leary
It was hard to review “Draft Day” (2014). I don’t even know what it was supposed to be. A two-hour infomercial for the official car, truck, pizza, cellphone and television network(s) of the NFL? An NFL propaganda piece to overdramatize the annual college player draft so that it becomes completely untethered to reality? A star vehicle to prove that Kevin Costner can still bang actresses half his age? This movie is so preposterous, so implausible, so convoluted, so overwrought, so overacted, it became slightly entertaining. Like a car wreck. But with clown cars. Full of football players. And Jennifer Garner.
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