Archives for posts with tag: Danny Trejo

With a lame-o title like “A Tale of Two Guns” (2022), I was sure this western featuring washed-up Tom Berenger, Jeff Fahey and Judd Nelson would suck. Despite the fascinatingly stilted dialogue, it just kept not sucking. Not sucking as relentlessly as the deputy marshal played by Ed Morrone pursues the outlaw played by Casper Van Dien. Still, it’s primarily a boilerplate, post-Civil War bounty hunter story with an ironic twist. Berenger, Fahey and Nelson are mostly decorative, as is not-washed-up Danny Trejo. Not great, but it didn’t suck. Robert Revell composed a spaghetti-esque score that’s part homage, part plagiarism.

Leave it to Sylvester Stallone to turn the restoration of a 1965 Mustang into a workout montage. By the time he made “Lock Up” in 1989, he’d already done four Rockys and three Rambos, and yet his idea of branching out was to play a short-timer convict who gets beat up a lot. Donald Sutherland plays a sadistic warden (is there any other kind in Hollywood?) trying to keep Sly inside. John Amos, Frank McRae and Tom Sizemore provide strong support, but the story is an unimaginative mashup of Stallone’s previous work with some of “The Longest Yard” thrown in.