Archives for posts with tag: Bruce Willis

Early in “Apex” (2021), Bruce Willis’ character is described: “He used to be something great. He’s at the end of his rope now.” How cute. I see the filmmakers watching me watching them. Later, there’s a scene with movie references that make me believe they want me to believe they’re not taking this whole “The Most Dangerous Game” plot too seriously. It’s really camouflage for laziness. If you want to watch rich A-holes stalk humans, “The Hunt” is much better. Willis, as the prey here, seems perpetually tired despite his general lack of (acting) effort. Everyone’s dying to kill him.

My annual movie ranking. Criteria: films widely released to theaters/streaming/DVD in 2022 that I watched in 2022 that weren’t Bruce Willis movies. See below for Bruce. Links to reviews where I had time to insert them.

Top Gun: Maverick – perfectly fulfills demands of sequeldom

Last Looks – evokes Elmore Leonard’s Hollywood

Elvis – caught in narrative trap, can’t walk out

The Batman – familiar hero weighed down by history

Everything Everywhere All at Once – Tiger Mom learns to kill with kindness

Nope – another Jordan Peele mind bomb

Downton Abbey: A New Era – beautiful, romantic, period-costumed junk food

The Lost City – fun rip-off of “Raiders,” “Stone”

The Black Phone – ’70s style overcomes horror substance

The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent – ironically mediocre self-parody of mediocrity

Father Stu – Mark Wahlberg’s suprisingly moving ne’er-do-well

Bandit – refreshingly fun Canadian caper flick

Where the Crawdads Sing – upwardly mobile product of a low-ceiling genre

Last Survivors – surprising May-December mediocrity

Weird: The Al Yankovic Story – flawed but funny mock biopic

Don’t Worry Darling – Rat Pack rat race doesn’t end well

Bullet Train – actioner bogs down under its own weightiness

Delia’s Gone – bleak yet compelling mystery

Death on the Nile – bluesy but downbeat whodunit

Moonfall – alien armageddon flick jettisons common sense

Uncharted – Indiana Jones-style video game mediocrity

The 355 – run-of-the-(fe)mill spy flick

The Bad Guys – comfortably unoriginal animation mediocrity

Secret Headquarters – kid-driven superhero mediocrity

Ambulance – antiquated action mediocrity

Morbius – (medical) textbook comic-book mediocrity

Marry Me – harmless, rom-com mediocrity

A Tale of Two Guns – bounty-hunting western travels worn-out trail

Black Site – oddly engrossing, action-espionage mediocrity

Dog – interestingly dark man’s-best-friend story

Scream – big-budget, mediocre fan fiction

Supercool – teen comedy mediocrity

Alone Together – muted rom-com mediocrity

Panama – slightly compelling Drug War mediocrity

Redeeming Love – mediocre Christian porn

The Northman – Viking revenge mediocrity

Emily the Criminal – millennial moral dilemma mediocrity

Lightyear – rocketman prequel fizzles

Memory – geezer action mediocrity

Dead for a Dollar – Western showdown mediocrity

Blacklight – more geezer action mediocrity

The Contractor – wounded warrior mediocrity

Agent Game – mediocre action TV pilot

Shattered – “Misery” redux as gory mediocrity

Last Seen Alive – an incomprehensively ridiculous ending

Gone in the Night – below-average highbrow horror

Poker Face – goes all-in on incoherence

The Devil You Know – sub-mediocre family drama

Confession – commits sin of boredom

Assailant – annoying married couple vs. annoyinger psychopath


Here is a ranking of Bruce Willis films I saw in 2022, regardless of year released. Given his diminished state, and his films’ interchangeable banality, they require their own category.

Apex – rich murderers vs. murderous ex-cop – interestingly derivative

Gasoline Alley – hookers and cons vs. dirty cops – sloppy

Cosmic Sin – discredited general vs. warrior aliens – unfortunately ponderous

Deadlock – vengeful vet vs. hungover vet – preposterously compelling

Paradise City – bounty hunting ex-cop vs. John Travolta (?) – mildly interesting

Vendetta – crime boss vs. Marine dad – messy gun porn

Trauma Center – crooked cops vs. old cop vs. waitress – tedious

Wrong Place – widower ex-cop vs. dimwitted crook – boring

A Day to Die – corrupt chief vs. triple-crossing mercenaries, gangsters – incoherent

American Siege – alcoholic sheriff vs. hostage takers vs. militia – nonsensical

Fortress: Sniper’s Eye – wounded mercenary vs. vengeful protege – gratuitous drivel

A simplistic plot, bleak characters and an overly wordy script that makes 96 minutes seem too long. “Wrong Place” (2022) is another eye-roller from Bruce Willis: the Declining Years. In what feels like a drawn-out episode of a bad TV show, Willis is an ex-cop (surprise!) who’s a bad driver and spends too much time talking when he should just shoot somebody. He witnesses criminal hijinks and becomes a marked man just as his cancer-stricken daughter shows up with a surprise that can be conveniently exploited by the bad guys. Meanwhile, there’s a demeaning subplot involving the only black character.