Ambulance

The death of boomer masculinity occurred somewhere near the 105-405 interchange. For years, Michael Bay has been a high priest of action filmdom, preaching a holy Hollywood trinity of bullets, testosterone and helicopters (lots of helicopters). Today’s action market is dominated, however, by a spandex-clad rainbow coalition playacting stories created and curated by nerds and geeks. Bay’s unsuccessful “Ambulance” (2022) brings cops, robbers and EMTs to a bank heist, then takes us on one of his patented, never-ending, catastrophic car chases. The awkward, tiresome Cain-and-Abel subplot featuring Yabya Abdul-Mateen II and Jake Gyllenhaal adds speed bumps to a chaotic movie.

She Devil

By the time I got done watching “She Devil” (1989), I realized I hadn’t really watched it at all. Not like “just watching a movie,” anyway. I’d examined it, as I might examine a client’s tax information, or a sheet of football statistics, trying to solve a puzzle or discern a trend. Trying to learn something. What did I learn from this lowest-common-denominator comedy in which a scorned, frumpy housewife seeks revenge (spoiler alert: hijinks ensue)? Roseanne Barr is unlikeable at a molecular level, Meryl Streep tries too hard – at everything – and a bad movie isn’t worth “just watching” sometimes.