The first five people you meet in “Assailant” (2022) are a guy who dies, the guy who kills him, an annoying married couple and a marriage counselor. Unfortunately, the film is not about the marriage counselor. What a stupid movie, and not even in the so-stupid-it’s-mildly-entertaining sort of way. The annoying couple takes a romantic tropical vacation in an attempt to resuscitate their marriage, whereupon they encounter the aforementioned “guy who kills him” and hijinks ensue. Casper Van Dien plays a psychopath with a hang-up about apologies, which writer-director Tom Paton never bothers to resolve, making himself a bigger sociopath.