Old people like movies like “Black Robe” (1991) because it takes place in 1634, when some of them were still alive. Seriously, it’s historical fiction about a French Jesuit priest who needs to get from one remote Canadian river outpost to another, for reasons I didn’t care to dwell upon. It’s mostly nice and quiet and has long, loving shots of gorgeous scenery. You might call it boring. An older person might praise the “history” and “nature” in it, which are code words for “nappability.” Remember it the next time you want something you’ll feel good about falling asleep during.

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