In 1986, Ridley Scott and Tom Cruise made a movie about unicorns. And fairies. And making out in the woods. “Legend,” in a word, is lame. It’s like they were bored and decided to shoot a crappy movie over the weekend. The plot is a simplistic, good-versus-evil allegory with all kinds of quasi-religious symbolism. And unicorns. And goblins. And Tim Curry, in the typecasting event of the century, as the devil (I wonder if he ever sits at home and says to himself, “Why can’t I ever play a friendly fire chief? Or a kindly country doctor? Or a unicorn?”)

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