I’d rather suffer temporary blindness for one hour and 58 minutes than watch a Diane Keaton movie. But I watched “Darling Companion” (2012) because I’m a professional. Keaton plays the type of character who screams for her daughter to pull off the interstate to rescue a stray dog (you’re shocked, I’m sure). Later, the dog strays again. The extended Keaton family searches – and learns a little something about themselves along the way (awww). The dog’s a metaphor. I don’t really give a damn what for. I’m just glad she finally stopped talking. Diane Keaton, I mean. The dog doesn’t talk.

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