“The Blair Witch Project” isn’t scary. I didn’t watch it in a darkened theater, surrounded by gasping adolescents (nowadays they’d be texting adolescents). But my living room was dark (I lit a candle). The movie is creepy. Theater-of-the-mindey. But not scary. Part of the unscariness has to do with the unlovable starring trio of college whiners. Of course, that’s probably why it was a phenomenon with whiny college students in 1999 (“Someone understands our angst!”). Geez, witch, just eat them already. My favorite parts were the interviews with the locals for the faux documentary, especially the fishermen (great Maryland dialects).

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